Reconciliation Although it may seem odd for a divorce attorney to talk about reconciliation, we have an ethical obligation to discuss all alternatives with out clients. Sometimes, clients think they have no choice other than to dissolve their marriage when in reality, they may only need therapy or to learn better communication and listening skills. We always ask our clients if they have explored every avenue before pursuing a divorce. When appropriate, we will refer our client, the other spouse and even the children to a qualified mental health professional. Of course, whether to pursue a reconciliation is our client's choice. Which option is the best choice for you? In South Florida, five out of ten first-time marriages end in divorce. This rate increases for second marriages to six out of ten. In most cases, property must be divided and support must be negotiated and in many cases, the issues of child support and custody must also be resolved. Many people make decisions about obtaining a divorce without ever really understanding their options. At The Law Offices of Robert J. Merlin, P.A., we are committed to helping people understand their alternatives, so they can make the choice that allows them to achieve their best results. The following information outlines the options available to divorcing and separating clients, including: Collaborative Law Mediation Litigation Reconciliation Collaborative Family Law An out-of-court alternative based on mutual respect Going through a divorce does not automatically mean having to endure the turmoil that is often associated with it. You now have another choice, Collaborative Law. Developed as an alternative to the stereotypical divorce scenario, Collaborative Law is a new option for divorcing couples to resolve disputes respectfully without going to court. It offers couples a humane, solution-based approach to ending a marriage while maintaining a healthy relationship when that is appropriate, such as when the parties have children.  It differs from the traditional process because Collaborative Law promotes mutual respect and gives control of the process to the spouses, not a judge. Clients agree not to go to court, so the process is more open and less adversarial. The goal is to enhance communications throughout the process and to lay the foundation for a healthier relationship during and after the divorce through Collaborative Law, relationships are preserved rather than destroyed. Collaborative Law is based upon three principles: The parties pledge in writing not to go to court. Both spouses engage in an honest and full exchange of information. Each solution takes into account the highest priorities of both spouses and their children. How Collaborative Family Law works Once the collaborative approach has been chosen by the divorcing couple, each spouse selects a lawyer experienced and specially trained in Collaborative Family Law to assist them throughout the process. All parties sign an agreement not to go to court. However, Collaborative Law is unique in that the spouses and their lawyers meet together for face-to-face discussions and negotiations without going into court. In an atmosphere of openness and honesty, all assets and liabilities are disclosed, needs are communicated and potential solutions are explored. When children are involved, their interests are given foremost priority. In most cases, we involve a specially trained neutral mental health professional from the inception of the process to help the parties stay focused on their priorities and to improve their communication skills. In some cases, other neutral collaborative professionals such as child specialists and financial advisers may also be involved. The end result of Collaborative Family Law is a divorce agreement that has been achieved through mutual problem solving. The divorcing spouses, along with their lawyers, take control of shaping the final agreement rather than having a resolution imposed upon them by the court. Benefits of Collaborative Family Law Designed as an alternative to conventional divorce, Collaborative Family Law offers many distinct advantages: Client remains in control. Decision making is directly in the hands of the spouses involved in the divorce rather than in the hands of a judge. This means that the client is not bound by a “one size fits all” resolution. Resolutions are only limited by the clients and the professionals involved in the process. Parties enjoy confidentiality. Problems and assets are kept private and are not a part of the public record. Solutions are mutually beneficial. The collaborative process recognizes and understands each client's needs, interests, concerns and goals, while allowing both parties to be heard throughout the process. Respect is key. Collaboration changes the notion of divorce from adversarial and win/lose to a problem-solving constructive experience in which everyone is involved in a positive, win-win situation. Couples can expedite the process. The time of the divorce process can be reduced if couples adhere to the principles and guidelines of Collaborative Family Law. The collaborative process can be much faster than litigation. Process may be less expensive.  The parties frequently spend less money on attorneys in the collaborative process. If it is necessary to hire an expert, the parties agree to hire one neutral expert for a particular issue, thereby saving money that is usually spent on litigation on "hired guns" for both parties. Kids count. Children are given a voice in the process through a child specialist, alleviating potential trauma that sometimes lasts for years. Higher level of professionalism.  For more information on Collaborative Law go to www.Collaborativepractice.com; www.collaborativefamlaw.com or www.collaborativefamilylawfl.com Mediation Reaching mutual decisions without the courts Mediation is a voluntary process through which a client makes decisions together with his or her spouse based upon an understanding of the client's views, the spouse’s views and the reality the parties face. A professional mediator facilitates the parties' discussions but does not give legal advice or make decisions. The mediator may, however, make suggestions of how the various issues in dispute can be resolved. How Mediation works: The parties and their attorneys meet with the mediator to identify issues, complete the exchange of information if necesssary, and to use non-coercive problem-solving techniques to come to an agreement. The parties can be supported in or out of the meeting room by consulting lawyers, financial and estate planners, accountants, insurance advisors, therapists and other family members. Family-centered conflicts that can be resolved through mediation include: Separation & divorce Parenting & visitation Division of assets & liabilities Spousal & child support Paternity actions Pre-nuptial and post-nuptial issues Parent-teen conflicts Benefits of Mediation The client sets the pace. The process can move as quickly or as slowly as the parties choose and the client is not restricted by the availability of a court calendar. The involvement of the court is minimized. Everyone agrees to reach an agreement outside of a courtroom. The parties create workable solutions. The process gives the client the freedom and opportunity to craft more creative solutions than are available through courts. The parties remain in control. In a typical scenario, the court imposes a solution it could also assign to hundreds of other families. Through mediation, the parties hand craft a resolution that will work for both of the parties and their children. The parties save resources. Mediation is generally less costly and time-consuming than litigation. The parties enjoy confidentiality. Mediation proceedings remain private. Litigation A Traditional and More Aggressive Approach The traditional approach to resolving disputes is litigation. The technique is not as common as it once was, as there are now alternative methods for resolving issues related to divorce and other family law matters. More and more divorcing spouses are choosing not to litigate, but it still remains as an available alternative.   How Litigation Works With litigation, each individual has the right to hire a personal attorney to represent them in court regarding the matters in question. For divorces, these typically include child timesharing, child support, alimony, the equitable distribution of assets and liabilities, exclusive possession of the marital home and attorney’s fees. We will attempt, in the early stages of our representation, to resolve the case amicably, but if the parties cannot agree, the court will be involved. Issues to consider in the litigation process: Litigation eliminates the client's control of the outcome and places the control with a judge Litigation is emotionally more difficult for families Litigation can be more expensive than other dispute resolution methods  Litigation is more time consuming
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